The parents dance at a wedding is such a special moment between the family so why is it that many couples are opting not to go ahead with this traditional part of a wedding. You may ask your self is it right for us or do you have mixed feelings about it.
Traditionally, the bride dances with her father immediately after the first dance, although some couples choose to wait and hold their dances between meal courses.. The groom can dance with his mother at the same time, or immediately after the father-daughter dance. Parents and grandparents on both sides of the family should be invited to the dance floor next. This is also the perfect time for the groom to share a few moments with his new mother-in-law.
Now I can see why it’s easier to just skip this part of the formalities, there are a lot of different options to go with on top of an already long list of wedding planning ticks and crosses.
When I ask couples if they are doing a parents dance I normally get a few different reasons like:
- They dont think its important
- We aren’t traditional
- They are unsure what or when to do it
- Or they think it will be awkward.
If you are still interested in doing this traditional dance in a non traditional environment then I have added in some options below to help get you thinking about where in the evening would be a good opportunity to take part in a loving parents dance.
The End of Starters
You are able to have the dance after the last table of starters have been served. This is a moment in the evening where you have everyone’s attention inside and the bar hasn’t been abused yet. More than likely your guests will have had some food and some beverages by this time and the mood of the evening will still be light and fun.
By doing it at this time you could be doing something nice with the parents but not making it a huge event by doing it right before or after the first dance
In Between Courses
Dance in between the starters and mains, This is an in between period that your guests will use the washroom and make good use of the bar tab. This would be a perfect time to add in a traditional dance in a non traditional way. It doesn’t have to be a big spectacle but your parents will love the special moment.
The End of Dinner Service
No doubt your guests are ready to have a bit more fun and are up and around socialising getting ready for the dancing and letting loose. By doing it at the end of the main course you are putting a nice moment before cutting the cake and going to the first dance.
I often see the parents dance as an awkward not sure what to do next situation that can take a lot of attention off of the first dance, this is not something that a lot of couples want. To get rid of an awkward feeling move it away from such a big part of the evening. This also scales down the traditional aspect and takes a bit of pressure off keeping everything smooth sailing for the first dance and dance floor.
Whenever I get asked about the order of events for the evening I try to recommend keeping the flow or movement going. Meaning don’t have a break after cutting the cake, don’t have a break between the first dance and parents dance if you are having them one after the other. All these little intermissions cut into the fun time. If people are standing with attention on you then keep it that way and roll through the remaining formalities. cutting the cake then going straight into the first dance while the majority of your guests are up standing is a great way to entice them to be a part of the dance floor.
There are so many different ways you can plan your wedding day time line and keep it traditional while also dimming it down a bit to keep it fun